I hate George Bush
by Celeste Crest
Summary: um it is about a nation (guess which one) inspired by the new president as of today. :(!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!...ok sorry about that ....just read the damn story now! and review!
1. I hate George Bush

Once upon a time there was a kingdom (for now we'll just call it the Combined States of Ericaqui). The Kingdom was a great and wonderful place that was the most powerful and respected in the world. It had won it's independence from the Nation of Tea and Crumpets over 200 years ago and although it had some problems in it's time it was getting along very well. The king of the Combined States of Ericaqui, King Cigar, had put out many decrees allowing for the upper middle class to get jobs and keep the money flowing through the kingdom and tried to help the moral of the citizens of the Kingdom. King Cigar also did many things for the international community, he tried to keep the peace between the Land of the Leprechauns and the Nation of Tea and Crumpets, he had tried to keep the peace between the fighting nations in the Holy Land of Many Religions. He also helped out comminutes in the Balkans (ah hell I can't think of any symbolic name for that). All and all King Cigar was a pretty good King. 

However, King Cigar was a very charismatic king, needless to say he had a little affair with his servant. His wife, Queen Carpetbagger was upset but didn't leave him. The uptight fuddy-duddies of the Kingdom became enraged with his actions and tried to kill him. They failed. (haha take that!).

The time had come for the King to step down, he wanted to hand the kingdom over to his right-hand man, Rigid Gored. Rigid Gored was all too happy to become the next king of the Combined States of Ericaqui. However the uptight fuddy-duddies had another plan. Among them was the former king, Pussy-cat (if you can't figure out how I got that name you need to get out some more.) King Pussy-cat had been beaten by King Cigar eight years ago and was hoping for revenge. In a secret meeting the uptight old fuddy-duddies of the kingdom deiced on their course of action.

"We need a king who will be our tool, who we can control in every way. Who we can have pass the most outrageous bills, give all power to the fuddy-duddies and take it away power from the lovey-dovey liberals."

"Yes, exactly we need some one who will appoint a raciest, women-hating, homophobic, man to be the leader of defense."

"I agree but were will we find someone so dumb?"

From the shadows stepped former king Pussy-Cat.

"My son is the perfect man for the job."

"You mean, Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy?" Asked an old fuddy-duddy.

"Yes." Replied the former king

"But he just may just too dumb."

"I understand," Answered the former king, "But he will just be a front behind him will be a smart man, Dickinson Right."

The rest of the fuddy-duddies smiled and agreed. They went on to drink heavily and engage in homosexual sex, even though they publicly say that anyone who is not straight is the spawn of Satan.

Meanwhile in the castle Rigid Gored was speaking with King Cigar.

"I have chosen my right-hand man." Gored told the king, "May I present Man-of-different-Religion" (yahhhhhh for Gored hipp-hipp horah!, finally someone who can see past stupid bigotry!!!)

The king looked over Man-Of-Different-Religion with a heavy heart. He knew that it was the right choice but he also knew that the people of the Combined states of Ericaqui were not ready for such a change. 

*In Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy's room*

Former King Pussy-Cat walked over to his son who was amusing himself with a ball of string. (YEAH SATERDAY NIGHT LIVE!).

"Son," he said "I have some exiting news."

Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy put down his ball of sting and looked up at his father confused. Former King Pussy-Cat was used to this look, it had been on his face since the day he was born.

"What daddy? Did you get me one of those scooters? Huh, did you did you?"

"No son," Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy looked upset but his father continued "You are going to be king of this kingdom."

"What's a king?" Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy asked stupidly. 

"It is the ruler." Said his exasperated father. 

"Oh," said Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy "but I wanna scooter daddy! Pleaseeeeee."

"Fine, once you become king you can get a scooter." Said Pussy-Cat as he patted his son on the head.

Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy smiled and went back to his string. The former king left the man's room and began to think out loud.

"Now, how to get rid of Rigid Gored, that is the question." He mused.

At that moment a page burst into the hall. 

"Former King I have news concerning Rigid Gored."

"Well out with it." The former King said

"He has picked his right-hand man, it's Man-Of-Different-Religion!"

Pussy-cat smiled as he rubbed his hands together menacingly.

"That's perfect! All of the stupid-bigots are on our side this is just what we need to ensure that my son is king. MWHAAAAA MWHAAAAAA!"

to be continued

I wrote this cause if you can't guess, I hate W! um review now! Could you guess who everyone was???J


	2. I hate George Bush Even More

Deep in the forests of bumpkin land lived a small band of rebels who opposed the shackles of the current monarchy. The rebel force also known as the Fiesta Verde would fight the injustices they saw the monarchs commit time and time again, especially the crimes against the forests of the kingdom. The rebel leader was a man who went by the name of The Green Avenger. One night the members of the Fiesta Verde crowded into the main tree house to hear their leader speak.

"All over the country the people have been taken for granted. Our beautiful forests have been raped, the peasants of the land are being held down by the fist of the wealthy and we are forced to smoke the Pleasuring-Plant in secret in fear of the King's Knights. And now the tradition continues. Across the kingdom just nights ago it was announced that the Old fuddy-duddies are planing a revolution and the leader of this horrifying coup is none other than Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy!"

The tree house erupted in fear and disbelief. People began to cry and scream.

"It can't be true Green Avenger, it just can't be!"

"Certainly Rigid Gored will be able to fight him off!" 

"I thought so too." The Green Avenger said sadly, "However I have just learned that Rigid Gored has chosen his right hand man, he had chosen Man-Of-Different-Religion. There is no way that he will be able to fight off an army of bigoted-raciest-fuddy-duddies now."

The tree house began to shake with sobs. Every man woman and child began to weep uncontrollably. 

"We are domed!" Cried out a Fiesta Verde

"Do not lose hope my brothers and sisters." The Green Avenger said firmly "There is hope. We need to tell the world that we will not take the abuse of the corrupt monarchy anymore. That we'll no longer only take what we're given, spending our whole life living in trapped where there is no future in sight. I say that it is time for a change of scene for a new player to enter the field! I will be that player! And I promise that from now on things will be different a revolution is at hand my fellow Fiestas Verdes! Let us led they way! Let us lead this kingdom out of the dark ages and into the age of enlightenment! The time is now and we are the people to do it!"

The crowd burst into cheers. The innocent and naïve Fiestas Verdes partied on into the night, smoking the Pleasuring-Plant, thinking that they would actually be able to right the wrongs of the kingdom. Not knowing that by entering the war they would cause the beginning of a new reign of terror that would know no end….

That very next morning the news of the Green Avenger entering the war spread across the kingdom like wild fire. To a few people the news sounded wonderful, they thought that with the entering of the Fiesta Verde the fuddy-duddies could be beaten. However the rest of the kingdom knew that this meant certain death of all Lovely-Dovey liberals and hung their heads. 

In the little town of Gunville the old fuddy-duddies assembled in Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy's house to discuss the impact of the news. Suddenly a weak looking man made his way down the stairs. The fuddy-duddies bowed down to him and he acknowledged them.

"Dickinson Right, were is Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy, we must talk about the war ahead of us." Said a fuddy-duddy

"Yes, we must." Said the man weakly, "He is in his play room, follow me."

The rest of the fuddy-duddies followed Dickinson Right up the stairs

** In Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy's play room**

"Ohhh who do I get to execute next!!!" Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy asked his nanny.

He was sitting in a large high-chair facing a glass wall. Behind that wall was a white room with a chair in the middle. Connected to the chair were electrcal wires that connected to a button situated on the tray of Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy's high chair. Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy banged his hands on the tray to get an answer from his nanny.

"Who do I get to execute next?!?!?!" He whined

"You get to execute a Man-Of-Different-Color!" said his nanny handing him a sippy-cup

"Woo-Hooo!" Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy yelped in delight as he began to sip his grape juice.

Two knights dressed in black armor burst into the white room carrying a frightened looking man of different color. They threw him on the chair and hooked up the electrical wires to different parts of his body. Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy looked on excitedly. When they had finished they gave him the thumbs-up signal. Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy started to reach for the button on the tray. Just before he hit it the door to his room opened and Dickinson Right and the rest of the fuddy-duddies came marching in.

"Not now son." Said the Former King Pussy-Cat grabbing his son's hand. "It's time for a very important meeting."

"But I wanna execute the man daddy."

"No son not now."

Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy's lip began to tremble and his eyes began to water.

"Oh lord not again." Mumbled Dickinson Right

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I wa-wanna- execute -th-th-the MAN!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy cried.

"Shhhh not now son, you can do it later."

"But I wanna do it nooooowwww!!" Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy continued to cry. The rest of the fuddy-duddies rolled their eyes, they were used to Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy temper tantrums. 

"If you don't stop crying there will be no more executions for a month! Do you understand me? Once the meetings over you can execute as many people as you want."

"You mean it?" Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy sniffed.

The former king nodded and Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy stopped crying. The meeting went as planed. The uptight old fuddy-duddies rejoiced in their good fortune and began to engage yet again in homosexual sex until the day seeped into night and every one went home to their mistresses and then later on to their wives. Once every one had left Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy sat back in his high chair, even though his ass was very sore. He smiled at the man of different color and pushed the button on the tray. 

"What a great day this has been." He said to himself as he watched the man die.

At the castle King Cigar and Rigid Gored stood on the balcony and watched the sunset. 

"Look, Rigid, look at how peaceful the kingdom looks. They are all asleep in their beds not know the horrors that this war will bring." King Cigar said mournfully 

Rigid Gored looked over the kingdom, it was indeed peaceful. The lamps of the Fiestas Verdes glittered in the dark forest, the rest of the kingdom was dark and lulled in sleep. Suddenly a spark coming from the manor of Gunville caught Rigid Gored's eye. He looked into the distance glumly.

"Stupid-Stuckup-Fratboy-Alcoholic-Hypocrite-Monkeyface Pussy has taken another victim." He said sadly

"Yes, yes he has. I shutter to think what will happen if he becomes the next king. Come let us go in… I have a few servants "cleaning" the round room we should really see if they need any "help"." King Cigar winked at his right hand man and they walked into the castle together.


End file.
